CoffeeKris's Collection of Ficage
by CoffeeKris
Summary: The newest tale tells of Jareth's arduous passion for his true love. READ IT OR I SHALL FIND YOU! lol
1. Little Red Riding Hood

**CoffeeKris: Man, you may as well start calling me the oneshot Queen. I do not know WHERE these things are coming from, but I'm enjoying them. I intend to make more J/S oneshots to follow this one and they'll be posted as new chapters.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Labyrinth or it's characters. Nor do I own the song Little Red Riding Hood, it belongs to Sam the Sham and the Pharaoh's.**

Sarah walked through the park cautiously on her way home from the costume the party she'd just attended. Her best friend Carolyn had decided that this year's anual friend reunion should be a costume party theme. Sarah had dressed up as Little Red Riding Hood and now as she walked through the empty park she couldn't help but feel like she really _**was **_Little Red Riding Hood and kept an eye out for The Big Bad Wolf.

Well, actually it wasn't so much the Big Bad Wolf she was looking out for as it was a guy named Ryan who was dressed like a wizard. The party had been fine save for him constantly bothering her, she would love to tell him exactly where to stick his wand but decided just to go home instead. Sarah was still thinking to how creeped out Ryan made her when she was startled by a familiar voice.

"Well, well, well. What have we here?"

Sarah whipped around to see his figure casually leaning against a tree in the shadow from the path. His mismatched eyes seem to glow at her from the shadow.

"Who's this I see walking in these woods? Why it's Little Red Riding Hood." Jareth moved off the tree and walked to the edge between the light from the path and the shadows from the trees.

"I must say Sarah, that costume does rather suit you. Though I am suprised you'd choose such a tragic figure to portray." He gave her a predatory smile.

Sarah just regarded him cautiously, Jareth had popped up around her now and then since her victory in the Labyrinth six years ago and she was somewhat used to it.

"What do you mean tragic? She gets away from the wolf in the end, the woodcutter comes and saves her."

Jareth let out a single laugh and circled her before whispering into her ear.

"Maybe in the tale you have been taught my dear, but in the original story the wolf ravishes her."

Sarah shivered and turned to look at him.

"I've never heard that."

He smirked.

"That is because over time parents believed it best to omit that little detail." He said moving next to her and offered her his arm, but Sarah just looked at him oddly.

"What are you doing?"

Jareth sighed for a moment before standing in front of Sarah. He began to sing as he circled her again.

_Hey there little Red Riding Hood,   
you sure are looking good,_

_you're everything a big bad wolf could want._

_Listen to me,Little Red Riding Hood _

_I don't think little big girls should  
go walking in these spooky old woods alone._

_AROOO  
_

_What big eyes you have,_

_the kind of eyes that drive wolves mad,_

_so just to see that you don't get chased, _

_I think I ought to walk with you for a ways,_

_What full lips you have,_

_they're sure to lure, some one bad,_

_so until you get to grandma's place,_

_I think you ought to walk with me and be safe,_

_I'm gonna keep my sheep suit on,_

_till I'm sure that you've been shown,_

_that I can be trusted walking with you alone._

AROOW

_Little Red Riding Hood, _

_I'd like to hold you if I could,_

_but you might think that I'm a big bad wolf, _

_so I won't._

_  
AROO_

_What a big heart I have,_

_the better to love you with,_

_Little Red Riding Hood,_

_even bad wolves can be good_

_I'll try to keep satisfied,_

_just to walk close by your side,_

_maybe you'll see things my way,_

_before we get to Grandma's place_

_Little Red Riding Hood,_

_you sure are looking good,_

_you're everything a big bad wolf could want._

_AROOOO...I mean... Bahhh._

He finished and looked at her expectingly once again extending his arm. This time she grinned and took his arm and they began to walk along the path through the wooded part of the park.

"So...you say in the original story the wolf ravishes her?" she asked.

"Yes, he does."

"And are you a wolf Goblin King?" Sarah asked looking at him sidelong.

Jareth gave her a feral smile.

"Bahhhh,"


	2. Rum, Steak and Cheesecake

**CoffeeKris: I can't describe how much joy your reviews bring to me...honestly it's the next best thing to Rum. Wonderful, lovely Rum. God I wish I had some right now...Anyway, here it is. Another one-shot.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Labyrinth, it's characters, or anything familiar mentioned in the below text. I do however own a cute little black rubber duck that has the words 'Duck off! printed on it. I call him Jeric.**

In the ten years, two months and one day since Sarah Williams had defeated the Goblin King, she had been very careful never to so much as utter the words 'I wish'. On each one of the ten birthdays Sarah had had since the Labyrinth she would pause as though she were making a wish and then blow out the candles, however during the pause she would instead be counting to ten so as not to accidently make a wish.

Sarah had managed to restrain herself from wishing away problems, irritants, and frustrations during her years in university. Through some miracle, she had always been able to keep her head through the many occurances of drunkeness that seem to accompany university life.

Even more impressive is the fact that she managed to withhold the dreaded words even when goblins constantly flitted around her, causing mischeif and agrevation.

Though all of this restraint is incredibley impressive, it does not detract from the fact that ten years, two mothes, and one day since her triumph over the Goblin King, Sarah Williams had finally used the words 'I wish'.

Sarah walked into her large apartment and in a fit of aggrevation threw her keys violently on what she called her 'key table' beside the door. The sudden sound of giggling met her ears as she slammed the door behind her. The giggling increased when in a matter of seconds later old Mrs. Hall from next door came rapping to complain of 'the gall of young people today' and 'disgracefullness of a lady slamming a door'.

After Mrs. Hall's departure, Sarah carefully closed the door and took a deep breath to restrain herself from screaming. However, the giggling from the obviously amused goblins was making calming down incredibley difficult. Letting out a sigh of frustration, which sounded almost like a growl, Sarah violently flung her purse and coat to the sofa and stormed to the fridge.Upon opening the fridge Sarah was met with nothing. Now it was true that she hadn't gotten groceries yet, but when she left that morning there had been a 26 of Captain Morgan's and a large slice of cheescake she'd kept for herself as a treat. However, no matter how many times she searched the fridge, nothing was there now.

"YOU LITTLE GOBLIN BASTARDS! You ate my cheesecake AND DRANK MY RUM? You are goddamn lucky I can't see you because if I could I would break every bone in your little cheesecake eating, rum drinking bodies! I MIGHT have forgiven the cheesecake...but WHY THE RUM?!"

Unfortunately for Sarah, her screaming tirade at the goblins caused Mrs. Hall to come storming over once more. Once again, Sarah stood in her doorway being lectured and once again she clenched her teeth and accepted the old woman's lecture. Closing the door once more, Sarah slid to the floor and cradled her head in her hands.

"I so don't need all this today." She sighed. "I wish I had a 40 of Rum, a peice of cheescake the size of my head and a nice juicy rare steak."

"I would have thought that after your trip through my Labyrinth, you would wish for things of substantial importance." Jareth's cool voice breezed over Sarah.

If Sarah had given thought to how should would react if she ever met the Goblin King again, she would have supposed she'd be frightened or worried. However, this day had pushed Sarah beyond the edge of reason, and thus her reaction was different then it might have been.

"After the day I've had Goblin King, cheescake, rum and a steak ARE things of substantial importance." She lifted her head from her hands and glared at him.

"Do you have ANY idea what I've been through today?!"

The Goblin King's response was an amused head tilt that Sarah found oddly attractive, which only angered her further.

"I sleep in, because one of your goblins has made off with my alarm clock. Fine, I can get a new alarm clock. I rush to the shop and open it, only to find a message from Claricia that she won't be able to make it to work today, and none of my other part-timers are available. Alright, the day's going to be hard, I can deal with that. Then my boyfriend Eric shows up and breaks things off, out of the blue. That's the twentieth time that's happened. By this point in the day, I'm frustrated. Then your goblins decide that MY book store is the perfect place to spend their day. I spend the rest of the day picking up books, re-organizing books, apologizing to customers for books hitting them out of seemingly nowhere. By this time, I'm royally pissed! But I could forgive this, Goblin King. Oh yes, I too can be generous. I could have forgiven ALL OF THIS...but ooooooh no. The little bastards EAT MY CHEESCAKE AND DRINK MY RUM! MY GODDAMN FUCKING RUM JARETH!"

Just as Sarah finished her tirade, she heard the familiar footsteps of Mrs. Hall outside her door. Sighing she turned and flung open the door to reveal the woman with her hand poised to knock.

"For God's sake woman, get a pair of earplugs if you don't like it!" She spat before closing the door in the woman's flustered face. Sarah froze at the sound of the Goblin King's chuckling, she stiffly turned around and gave him a glare that would match his own.

"Goblin King I swear to God, I don't have the patience for this today. So unless you want me to kick your tight pants wearring, brother stealing, arrogant, haugty, royal, goblin ASS. I suggest you take your goblins and get out!"

The King merely continued to regard Sarah in amusement.

"But Sarah, I've brought you a gift."

Sarah slapped a hand over her eyes and sighed wearrily.

"Let me guess, it's a crystal. Nothing more?"

He smirked.

"Not this time Sarah. What would you say if I told you I have brought you a 40 of Rum, a peice of cheescake the size of your head and a nice juicy rare steak?"

Sarah let the hand over her eyes drop and gave him a weary smile.

"I'd say grab you grab the cuttlery, I'll get the glasses."

**CoffeeKris: lmao, I love this story. If it were me I'd put some cheesecake ON the rare juicy steak. Sounds gross, but trust me it's heaven. Please Review, if you do not I shall send Jeric my rubber duck after you, he'll duck you up.**


	3. Squelch

**CoffeeKris: Oh the reviews! They make me so happy! I'm glad that my writing is being so well recieved, and every review makes me more inspired to write more!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Labyrinth or it's characters. Squelch is mine though. If you attempt to steal him, I'll send Jarec after you. glare**

Squelch was a goblin of considerable intelligence. In the case of a goblin, this meant that Squelch posessed the rare ability to but two and two together and come up with four, which is a figurative way of saying that he was able to figure out that certain actions caused certain reactions. If Squelch had the ability to read or write, he would've written a lovely little handbook about his discoveries. For example:

If you spill ale on the Goblin King he will send you to the Bog of Eternal Stench. (Squelch was particularly thankful that he had merely witnessed this and not learned it first hand)

If you touch the Goblin King, he will kick you away or smack you away.

If you go Aboveground, humans can't see you.

If you human's can't see you, they can't punish you for mischeif.

Human females scream if you flip up their skirts.

With Sqelch's odd intelligence, he found that he liked learning about all the mischeif he could cause Aboveground. He liked being invisible and able to cause as much mischief as he wanted to. Until one day he saw the Lady. Now being the intelligent goblin he was, Squelch knew that the King liked the Lady and that he had been upset when the Lady went back Above. So, knowing this, Squelch decided to take something from the Lady to the King. Squelch followed the Lady home and up the stairs to her room. Then he looked around for something to take back. Squelch waited until the Lady left the room before exploring the room to find the perfect thing to bring back to the King. Finally, her found the perfect thing.

The Goblin King sat on his throne, tapping his riding crop against his throne absentmindedly only to be disturbed by a small POP noise and the feeling of weight on his foot. Jareth looked down only to see one of his goblins sitting on his foot with an odd looking contraption on his head.

"Just what are you doing?" he demanded of the goblin with a glare.

Squelch tilted his head to the side, letting his tongue loll out with a smile, before jumping up and bouncing on the Goblin King's foot.

"King no like Lady leave. King like Lady. Squelch bring King Lady thing!"

The Goblin King regarded Squelch with a mixture of surprise, amusement and curiousity.

"And what might that be?" he asked.

Squelch excitededly pointed to his head.

"Lady hat! Lady have lots of hats! Squelch bring hats to King!" Squelch took off the 'hat' and tossed it up to the King, who caught it in one fluid movement.

Regarding the object in hand, the Goblin King promptly began laughing.

Squelch watched the King laugh and grinned broadly.

"Lady have lots of hats! Pretty hats! Squelch like the spotty hat!"

The King only continued to laugh and Squelch couldn't help but think that he must be a really smart Goblin.

Sarah returned to her room and started to put away her laundry, when she noticed something strange.

"Where the hell did all my bras go?"


	4. Squelch II

**CoffeeKris: Oh the reviews! The lovely lovely reviews! They're soooooooo good. Remember, the more reviews I get, the more I write. And if you don't review face the rath of Jeric! He'll duck you up!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Labyrinth or it's characters, nor do I own Rocky Horror Picture Show, it's songs or characters.**

Sarah tore apart her room looking for her bras. Honestly, she'd only gone to get her laundry and now all of her bras were missing. Sarah sat on her bed and started to massage her temples, this made no sense, her bras had to be somewhere. A familiar voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Hello Sarah,"

Sarah froze and looked up to see a smirking Goblin King infront of her.

_Why on earth is he here? First my bras go missing and now...oh damn._

Sarah dropped her hands and stood up to face him.

"Goblin King, WHERE ARE MY BRAS?" she demanded of him. Jareth smirked and crossed his arms.

"You know very well where they are."

Sarah's eyes widened for a moment before she glared at him.

"You put them in the Castle beyond the Goblin City?!" she shrieked. He nodded.

"They're there, in my castle. Do you still want to look for them?" He asked her as the setting around them changed and Sarah now found herself in the underground once more.

"You're kidding me! You're going to make me run the Labyrinth for my bras? I didn't wish them away! I thought you Fae couldn't take what wasn't freely offered?!"

He smirked at her. "We can't. I'm afraid that your...garments... were presented to me as a gift from a rather loyal Goblin. Goblins have a tendency to steal things from aboveground. In fact there's an entire room in the castle filled with single socks, earrings, keys, and other things the goblins take a liking to."

Sarah put her hands on her hips and gave him the deadliest glare she could manage.

"This is ridiculous. I'm not going to run the Labyrinth for my bras, just give them back!"

Jareth smirked. "Either you run my Labyrinth or your bras will be mine forever. I must say Sarah, I was quite shocked in your selection." He circled her as he spoke. "Black lace, polka dotted, pinstripe, purple, one with ribbons, and of course my personal favourite..." He leaned to her ear and whispered causing her to shudder "leopard print." He gave her a feral grin and stepped back. "Really Sarah, I'm quite fond of them."

Sarah gave him a mocking look. "Never figured you for a trannie Goblin King. Though I suppose the tights and ruffles should've been a hint."

Grinning at the Goblin King's indignant glare she returned to the problem at hand. She could always go out and buy new bras, but that would cost money, not to mention there was something unsettling about the Goblin King having her bras. She sighed.

"Alright Goblin King, I'll run your Labyrinth."

The King smiled at her triumphantly and caused the thirteen hour clock to appear.

"You have thriteen hours to solve the Labyrinth before your assortment of bras belong to me forever...such a pity." He said as he disappeared.

"Perverted trannie." Sarah mumbled as she walked down the hill towards the Labyrinth. An image of Jareth singing 'Sweet Transvestite' and dressed up like Dr. Frankenfurter caused Sarah to burst out laughing despite her foul mood.

"Sarah?"

Sarah stopped laughing and looked over to see the owner of the voice.

"Hoggle!" She cried running and giving him a hug. "How are you?"

"Same as I were when I saw yer last week. But what are you doing here? If Jareth catches you..."

Sarah frowned. "Actually, he already knows I'm here. I have to run the Labyrinth again." She blushed hoping to leave it at that.

"You wished someone away again?!" Hoggle cried. Sarah blushed again.

"No! Umm, it's a...well it's a long story. Could you help me get to the Castle again?"

"But why would you need to go there if you hasn't wished no one away?" Hoggle asked looking at Sarah suspiciously. She sighed.

"He...ummm...he just has something of mine and I need it back. Please Hoggle, I only have thriteen hours, will you help me?"

"Course I will Sarah, but I don't understand why you's gonna go through all the bother fer some thing." He grumbled leading her into the Labyrinth. Sarah thanked him and the began making their way through the Labyrinth.

**CoffeeKris: He's making her run the Labyrinth for her bras. LOL. I'm not sure why this amuses me so much. Since I am a review aholic and am addictic to reveiwahol I am asking for 10 reviews before I update again. Feel free to make a suggestion for new obstacles our lovely Goblin King can through in Sarah's way. The suggestions I like best shall be put into the story! **


	5. Squelch III

**CoffeeKris: Oh my reviewers, why have you forsaken me? I ask for so little insert cheeky grin here a mere ten reviews in exchange for an update, and yet by my count there have only been nine! Don't defy me.**

After entering the Labyrinth and turning left at the home of the little blue worm, who was very disappointed that they could not join him for tea, a thought struck Sarah. Literally.

"Ouch!" Sarah took a few steps back and saw that she had been hit with words in the shape of a train, charging through the air with no track.

"What is that Hoggle?"

Hoggle looked up at the thing and cursed.

"Damn rat, I shoulda known that he'd re-arrange the paths! That's a thought."

"What's a thought?" asked Sarah.

"That is!" Hoggle said pointing at the little word train as it floated aimlessly. "It's a train of thought, when people forget what they're talking or thinking about, their thoughts gets lost and they ends up here." Suddenly a more and more trains of thought showed up, all without a track to follow and colliding painfully into the two travellers.

Sarah and Hoggle ran down the path and ducked into a corner to escape the trains.

"Blasted things," Hoggle muttered rubbing his arm where one train had collided rather painfully.

"Well we's best takes the tunnels." He muttered, moving further into the corner to reveal what an urn similar to the one they had emerged from in Sarah's first experience with the Labyrinth.

"But I thought you said that the path we were on led straight to the castle…" Sarah looked at Hoggle confused.

"That were before I knew Jareth changed the paths, course I shoulda known what with it being you running the Labyrinth and all." He grumbled moving down the urn and disappearing from sight. Sarah rolled her eyes with a slight smile at her friend's grumpy behaviour and followed him down the urn.

The two continued to travel through the tunnels for a few minutes before either one spoke.

"So are you going to tell me just what is so important yous are running the labyrinth again?" Hoggle asked looking at Sarah sideways. She blushed a little and wished silently for a distraction, luckily before Hoggle could repeat himself she spotted a large orange creature before them.

"Ludo!" she cried out, the beast turned around and looked with confusion before a great smile made it's way onto his face.

"SAWAH!" he lumbered down the passage way and caught Sarah in a sweeping hug. She laughed.

"What are you doing here Ludo?"

"Rocks say Sawah back!"

Sarah grinned at him and looked at Hoggle.

"Well, if we had Sir Didymus it would be just like the last time!"

"Dist I hear mine name?"

Sarah looked behind Ludo to see Sir Didymus and his trust steed Ambrosius coming towards them.

"Fair Lady! The rocks did not speak falsely to mine brother then. But why art thou here? Dost not thou fear the King knowing?" he asked twitching his nose.

"He already knows she's here, she's running the Labyrinth again. Says she didn't wish no one away." Hoggle grumbled. Didymus looked at Sarah and Hoggle with confusion.

"But if thou didst not wish a person away, why is it thou must traverse the Labyrinth?"

"It's a long story, he has something important of mine and I need it back, that's it." Sarah bit her lip and tried to think of a way to re-direct the conversation.

"The cad hast stolen from my Lady? The fiend! What is it he hast taken? I shall storm the castle and retrieve it most gladly!" Didymus said punctuating his words by jabbing his sabre in the air.

"She won't say what it is." Hoggle grumbled "I were trying to get her to tell me when you two showed up."

"Actually, I don't think we have time for me to tell you all." Sarah said "It's a long story and I'm short on time." In actuality she wasn't sure how she was doing for time, all she wanted to do was get her bras and go home.

"Actually, you're doing remarkably well on time Sarah." The group turned to see Jareth leaning against a wall with a smirk on his face eating a peach.

**CoffeeKris: Behold, a new chapter. I do need reviews for inspiration though, so please please please review! realizes she's begging and clears her throat Uh, I meant…. Be warned, I have been generous up until now but I can be cruel. evil smirk**


	6. Squelch IV

**CoffeeKris: WARNING THE FOLLOWING CHAPTER WAS WRITTEN UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF CINNAMON AND SUGAR!**

Jareth smirked at them all before narrowing his eyes in on Sarah and taking a deliberately slow bite of the peach. He gave her a smirk and held out the peach.

"Care for a taste Sarah?"

She glared at him.

"No, I wasn't particularly fond of the last one."

Jareth shoved himself off the wall and came to stand directly in front of Sarah.

"Come come now Sarah, there is no baby to rescue this time. What harm is there in getting lost in a daydream?" He looked brought the peach up in the small space between them. She narrowed her eyes.

"No thank you."

Jareth gave a quick shrug and bit into the peach again with a smile, slowly stepping away from her. He looked to her companions.

"So just what story is it that our dear Sarah claims not to have time to tell you?"

Sarah blushed, upon seeing her blush Sir Didymus felt it his noble duty to answer the King.

"Our fair maiden was to tell us what possession of hers thou hast stolen so that we may assist her in retrieve it!"

The King cocked an eyebrow at the knight and looked at Sarah while he spoke.

"Stolen? Dear Sarah you know I cannot take that which is freely given."

"I did NOT give you my…" Sarah caught herself and gave a sideways glance at her friends.

"Did not give me your what?" Jareth asked with a self satisfied smirk as she turned crimson. Sarah glared at him and came to stand as close as she dared to him, speaking in a harsh whisper so that her friends could not hear.

"This whole thing is ridiculous! Why do you want my bras anyway? Planning on playing dress up?"

Jareth matched her glare with his own.

"You seem fixated on the idea of me in your clothing Sarah. I must say I'm not given to wearing women's clothing, though if you did something incredibly…._generous_….I may consider it."

Sarah's jaw dropped and she sputtered wordlessly which caused the Goblin King to seriously consider putting her lips movement to good use. Instead he leaned to her left ear so he friends could not see and whispered.

"Though perhaps you believe I would wear a woman's garments because you doubt my masculinity. In which case I'll gladly prove you wrong pet." He punctuated his sentence by nipping her earlobe and leaning back with a smirk, he disappeared leaving Sarah to stand there dumbfounded and a little turned on. She stood still as stone until her friend's voice roused her out of her mental blank.

"Sarah?"   
She turned around.

"Yes Hoggle?"

"What was all that about?"

Sarah flushed again and cleared her throat.

"Nothing, nothing really. He was just taunting me and attempting to distract me from my goal. Speaking of which we'd best start moving again, time's short." Having said this Sarah moved down the tunnel quickly muttering things that sounded suspiciously like the words 'damn his royal tight pants' and 'stupid seductive fae with their stupid seductiveness'.

As Sarah's three friends followed Sarah through the tunnel, Sir Didymus put into words what they were all thinking.

"Methinks brothers, that the Lady doth protest too much."

**CoffeeKris: 9 Reviews in one day! Really, I am flattered. It seems I've no need to be cruel after all! I know where I'm going with this story, really I do! I think there'll be two more chapters to it before it's finished. I look forward to your reviews**


	7. Squelch V

**CoffeeKris: You know, the more I write for this story the harder it is to write. I'm constantly bombarded with ideas for one-shots and yet I feel I cannot write any one-shots until I have this blasted plot finished! I know where I'm going with it, but it's a difficult journey. sigh Thank you all so much for the reviews, they're the only reason I have not given up on this blasted thing yet.**

Jareth sat on his throne, twisting his riding crop in circles so that the leopard print bra on the end of it would make lazy circles. He smirked thinking of Sarah's discomfort at letting her friends know just what it was they were on a mission to retrieve. He paused for a moment and regarded the bra with curiousity. He had every confidence Sarah would reach the castle, after all the entire point of her journey was to irritate her, not win a bunch of bras.  
"Just what would I do with you all?" he asked the leopard print bra, which did not respond being as that it was an inanimate object with no thought.

As Sarah and her three friends continued to traverse the Labyrinth, she couldn't help but be grateful that they had dropped the question of what it was she needed to retrieve.

_I still can't believe he's making me run the Labyrinth for my bras! What does he want them for anyway?!_

Sarah tried to imagine what possible use the Goblin King could have for her bras. She imagined goblins using them as swings for two, goblins using them as slingshots in water balloon fights, or using them instead of rope for tug of war. She imagined the Goblin King appearring on her doorstep with her bras in hand and having to endure a lecture from her father about the proper way a young woman should act and that he isn't paying for her education so that she can run around with young men. She imagined the Goblin King having her bras bronzed and put on display in a trophy case. She imagined the Goblin King demanding the only bra of hers he didn't no posess and insisting on removing it personally...Sarah decided to stop imagineing.

"SARAH!"  
Sarah jumped at the sound of Hoggle's voice.

"Yes Hoggle?"

"I's been calling yer name for five minutes,"

"Oh..." Sarah blushed at the thoughts she'd been lost in "Sorry Hoggle"

"Hmph! I's been calling her for five minutes and Oh, she says, sorry she says!" Hoggle continued to grumble while Sir Didymus urged Ambrosius to ride up beside Sarah.

"My lady, is it worry for what dear possession of yours the King hath taken that plauges your thoughts so?"

Sarah sighed and decided there was no use in lying to the little fox.

"Yes,"

"Have no fear maiden, for we shall retrieve that which our King hath taken from thee!" Didymus exclaimed, then paused to rethink what he had just said to make sure it didn't contrast with his code of loyalty to the King.

"I thinks you should tell us just what it is yous are looking for!" Grumbled Hoggle

"It's just...kind of personal, I'd rather not discuss it..."  
"Sawah not trust frwiends?" Ludo asked, his big eyes showing hurt

"Oh, Ludo no, that's not it!" Sarah said putting a hand on Ludo's arm.

"Then what is it the rat has?!" yelled Hoggle.

"MY BRAS!" She burst out "One of his stupid little goblins thought it would be a good idea to steal all my bras and present them to Jareth, I don't know why, he probably thought it looked like something the King would wear, but the point is he stole my bras and now I have to run the Labyrinth for a bunch of freaking bras!"

Sarah covered her face with her hands, hoping to avoid her friends' reactions.

Sir Dydimus cleared his throat.

"Umm...my Lady?"

Sarah lowered her hands from her face which was now red with embarrassment.

"Yes Dydimus?" she sighed

Dydimus cleared his throat again and then asked.

"What is a...bra?"

As Squelch puttered into the throne room he saw the King with one of the Lady's things hanging on the end of his riding crop in one hand, a crystal in the other, with his head thrown back laughing.


	8. Squelch VI

**CoffeeKris: Well duckies, here it is. The final chapter to Squelch. Now that this story line is finished I'm going to scamper away to an oubliette and write one-shots again. Fricken stories longer than one chapter, not my forté.**

Jareth stood infront of his goblin army, hands poised on his hips.

"Now do you all understand what it is you have to do?"

The assorted goblins in front of him bobbed their heads eagerly and then looked puzzled collectively shaking their heads. Jareth sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He looked down at Squelch who stood infront of him, beaming with pride. Deciding that it would be better for another goblin to explain it rather than repeat the plan himself for the third time he sighed.

"General Squelch, would you explain the plan?"

Squelch looked up at the King with wide eyes, head tilted to the side, tongue lolling out, and nodded enthusiastically. He'd never been asked to explain something before and the little goblin felt he must be very special. Squelch cleared his throat and began speaking a voice that was suprisingly loud for such a small creature, while bouncing up and down so that all could see him.

As Sarah and her friends entered the goblin city, three things stood out. One being that the entire city was suspiciously empty, the other being that the Goblin King had not made an appearance since the tunnels and the third being that the friends had not encountered any difficult obsitcles on their journey.

"It's too quiet, that rat's up to somethin' " Hoggle muttered

"Mayhap the goblins are preparing an ambush!" Didymus said glancing around suspiciously.

"Rocks say goblins in castle," Ludo said shaking his head.

"May as well keep moving then," sighed Sarah, the others looked at her sympathetically and kept moving.

Jareth watched the group make their way through the deserted city through his crystal, he frowned wondering what it was Sarah had told them bras were. Though he'd been watching at the time, he'd laughed so hard when Sir Didymus asked that he'd missed Sarah's hurried explanation.

"I wonder what she told them..." he mused aloud.

Squelch, who was sitting on the King's boot quite happily looked up at the King.

"King ask Lady what Lady say, Lady tell King and King no wonder."

Jareth looked down at Squelch, normally he didn't let goblins touch him but he had taken a liking to the little scamp that had brought him Sarah's bras and an excuse to see her and toy with her again. Though Squelch's advice was obvious, the fae are tricky creatures and therefore the straightforward approach is often ignored, Squelch's words reminded the fae king that such an approach existed. Jareth glanced at the crystal in his hand and noticed that Sarah would soon be approaching the Escher room. He smiled down at the goblin on his boot.

"Command your troops Squelch."

Squelch nodded and scampered off as the Goblin King leaned against an archway waiting for Sarah to enter the room.

Sarah entered the Escher room and her jaw immediately dropped. There were goblins everywhere, on every side of every staircase, all of them proudly wearring a bra on their head and grinning at her. Sarah was stuck between a bizarre impluse to laugh and the realization that she didn't own as many bras as there were goblins, so where did they all come from?

"Hello Sarah,"

She turned to see the Goblin King smirking at her.

"Hello Goblin King," she said eyeing him warily.

"Well, now that you've reached the castle our true game can begin."

Sarah looked at him with confusion.

"What? Is that why you didn't set out obstacles this time?"

Jareth gave her a smile and began to circle around her.

"Tell me Sarah, do you know what a labyrinth is? What the word labyrinth means?"

"It's a maze." she answered turning her head to look at him. He gave her a feral grin.

"No, it's not. A maze is a puzzle in the form of a complex full of paths and tunnels in which it is easy to get lost. A labyrinth is an intricate combination of paths and passageways that lead to one destination."  
Sarah frowned.  
"But your labyrinth is a complex full of paths and tunnels in which it is easy to get lost in, does that mean that your labyrinth is really a maze?"  
Jareth smiled.  
"Clever. While it is true that my labyrinth does possess some maze like qualities, you'll find that there is always a path around you, you just might not see it. All paths in the labyrinth lead to the castle, some are more direct than others, but the final outcome is the same. That is the reason I myself am so involved in the actions of my runners. So you see Sarah, when you run my labyrinth you're always going towards the castle, this time I merely didn't interfere so that you would reach the castle quickly."  
"But why would you want me to reach the castle quickly?" Sarah narrowed her eyes at the King, she just wanted to get her bras and go home. She was wary of Jareth, especially since her question cased a grin of pure glee to cross his face.  
"Why, to get to the best part of the game of course! It is only _fair _that I give you a proper amount of time to play this game, dear Sarah. I'm sure you noticed the goblins when you entered."  
She rolled her eyes.  
"No, I must have missied the hundreds of goblins sitting around wearring my bras on their head."  
Jareth grinned and continued.  
"Very good Sarah, however not all of them are wearring your bras, there is a set group of goblins wearring your bras and the rest are wearring illusions of your bras that I have created." He turned and the thirteen hour clock materialized out of thin air. "You have 1 hour, 30 minutes and 13 seconds to find and catch the goblins wearring your bras or else you lose and your bras shall belong to me."  
"1 hour, 30 minutes and 13 seconds? 13-0-13. What is it with you and the number 13?" Sarah asked exasperated.  
"Lucky number, and may I point out that you now have 1 hour, 30 minutes and 10 seconds?"

Sarah huffed at the Goblin King and took off running, the goblins scattered any time she came near. Finally cornering one she lunged at it and hoisted it up only to have the bra on it's head dissolve in a puff of glitter and the goblin giggle at her.  
_Well at least I know what happens if it's an illusion._She thought. _But there's no way I can catch all these goblins in an hour and a half!  
_Looking over at a pair of goblins standing side by side with seemingly identical bras on their head, Sarah noticed that the pinstripes on one were diagonal while the pinstripes on the other were vertical. Quickly she thought back to when she bought the pinstripe bra and realized that hers had vertical stripes. She grinned and leapt at the goblin with the vertical pinstripes. This time the bra did not disappear. She grinned and yanked it off his head. Looking around she noticed that some of the goblins still wore pinstripe illusions.  
_Aha! I just have to spot the differences!_

Jareth watched with a small smile as Sarah figured out how to tell the illusions from the real bras. He was incredable amused to watch her chasing after the goblins. The goblins loved it and were enjoying the wonderful game their king had created. He was impressed with her persistance and suprising speed. As he watched her run after a goblin he couldn't help but remember another time when he had watched her running, the fateful day in the park as she ran through the rain to get home. Looking to the clock he noticed she only had ten seconds left and was missing only one bra.

Sarah was chased after the little goblin madly, she only needed this final bra. Using the old long jump move she remembered from high school, she lept ahead and caught the goblin in one smooth motion only to have the bran on top of his head puff into a burst of glitter as the clock chimed thirteen. All the goblins dissappeared and Sarah was left haning onto her bras, save the one she hadn't caught. She looked down and swore only to see two boots appear in front of her.  
"You did very well Sarah."  
She looked up.  
"Yeah, well it seems I missed one. I guess these are yours now." She tossed her bras at him angrily causing Jareth to smirk.  
"I had hoped that if you were to throw your undergarments at me it would be in quite a different situation..." he said smiling at her indignant look. "However, I do have a question." She looked at him and he took her raised eyebrow as a 'please continue'. "Just what did you tell your dear friends bras were?"  
Sarah blushed.  
"I told them they were an aboveground dowry, it's the only thing I could think of that they would understand." She muttered, still miffed about getting her bras stolen.  
"Ah," he said moving so close to her that she could feel his breath on her. "So now that I have your dowry, we would be betrothed then? I wonder what your dear friends would think of that...I doubt Higgle would be pleased."  
Sarah's eyes shot up to Jareths and she looked at him for a moment before replying.  
"His name is Hoggle, and I doubt he would."  
Jareth gave an elegant shoulder shrug.  
"Yes, well he is obscenely short isn't he?"  
_What the hell am I doing?!_ Thought Sarah _The Goblin King's going to keep my bras for eternity and I'm discussing what my friends reactions would be if we were enganged?! _   
"The goblins are shorter, besides we aren't betrothed so it's nothing to worry about." Sarah glanced at Jareth's face after she spoke. He nodded gravely.  
"True, we are not betrothed and seeing as we've not seen each other in years it would be somewhat rash to become betrothed immediately.However betrothal usually follows the courtship period. Nevertheless, it would be inapprpriate of me to keep your dowry while we are not betrothed. So I shall return your dowry to you Sarah and await it's return most patiently." He smiled at her and handed her bras over. She took them and looked at him with a frown.  
"Are you asking to court me?" she asked. He shook his head.  
"No, I'm informing you I shall be courting you, though if you wish to agree to it that would make the process all that much smoother."  
She rolled her eyes at him.  
"You know most guys ask a girl if she'll go out with them, they don't demand a courtship."  
Jareth leaned down so that his lips where a hair away from her own.  
"My dear, most 'guys' are not kings." He whispered just before he kissed her.

**CoffeeKris: Holy crap on a stick that was long! That's it. The end, hope you all enjoyed it. Personally, I'm glad this blasted plot is over with. Please Review!**


	9. Welsh and the Name Game

**CoffeeKris: Hello starshines! The earth says 'hello'...anywho now that I've finished with the Squelch story line (FINALLY!) I'm back to writing one-shots. Honestly, one-shots are addictive and I missed writing them.**

WARNING: David Bowie would surely be very disappointed if you did not leave a review, you wouldn't want to disappoint Bowie would you?

Disclaimer: David Bowie is completely unaware of my existance and most likely, the existance of this story. If he knew of my/the story's existance I don't know what his reaction would be...hopefully he'd be amused and not creeped out.

Sarah Williams was not sure why, in her final year of university, she decided that taking Welsh would be a wonderful elective to take. She told herself that it was because she'd had the same professor for her course on Arthurian ledgends and just wanted to learn more about Wales. She told herself that it had nothing to do with the fact that the name Jareth was very close to the welsh name Gareth and she wondered if the Goblin King was welsh. Sarah looked at her text on colloquial welsh written by Gareth King and wondered if the Goblin King had written it and why he couldn't be a little more original picking out a name.

As she was getting tired of studying for her test, Sarah decided to amuse herself and practice her pronounciation at the same time. She cleared her throat and thought for a moment.

"Maen coblyn yn ymlid cyw oherwydd maen cyw yn atgofio hwy o eu brenin." she said, which translates to 'the goblins chase chickens because they remind them of their king.'

Sarah grinned, as she finished her sentence and heard a rustling and a faint pop. It was time to get some much needed revenge for the fact that goblins had been misplacing her homework lately, causing her to do it twice.

"Dw i ddim yn hoff o yr coegwych brenin o coblyn." she said, with a small smirk...maybe it wasn't exactly true that she wasn't fond of the flamboyant Goblin King, but the sentence was still fun to say.

She paused hearring more shuffling and another soft pop and was about to continue when she heard footsteps behind her. She turned to find the Goblin King looking at her peculiarly.

"Allech chi ddweud hynny 'to?"  
She quickly translated his words 'Could you say that again?' and grinned at him.

"Dw i ddim yn hoff o yr coegwch brenin o coblyn." she repeated. He frowned at her.  
"I take it you don't approve of my practice sentences, Goblin King?" She said sweetly, ignoring the blank look on his face.

"Peidiwch troi i'r Saesneg. Dwedwch fe 'to wrtha i yn Gymraeg." He said with a smirk.

Sarah had to think for a minute to understnad what he had said so quickly. 'Don't turn to English. Say it again to me in Welsh.' She frowned for a moment, the whole point of making up her silly sentences was to enjoy studying for Welsh, she was quickly tiring of it now and didn't like the Goblin King ordering her to speak to him in Welsh. She gave him a seemingly innocent smile.

"Sut mae dweud 'The Goblin King is an irritating git for sending his goblins to bother me for the past seven years' yn Gymraeg?" She wondered if he would actually tell her how to say the sentence in Welsh or if he'd ignore her.

"I don't think I'll translate that for you." He said, this time in english. "Might I ask Sarah, why you are slandering me in Welsh?"

She held up her book of colloquial welsh.

"Might I ask Goblin King, if and why you wrote this book?"

"Do you always answer questions with questions Sarah?"

"Do you always send goblins to irritate innocent girls Goblin King?" She smiled as he glowered at her.

"One would think you would treat me with more curtisy granted that I allow you to visit your friends so regularly."

"One would think that the Goblin King would have better things to do then send his goblins to bother me and randomley show up himself when he's bored." Sarah smiled again to note that her responses were irking the King.

"You sound like a mutated echo." He said. She shrugged.

"You sound like you're from Brixton."

He gave and elegant roll of his eyes, a feat most would think impossible, yet he accomplished it.

"Why is it you provoked me into visiting Sarah?" He asked impatiently. She sighed.

"I have a test in Welsh class on monday and I could use some help studying. I saw that my textbook was written by Gareth King and I wondered if you wrote it and could help me. Besides that, I wanted to irritate you. Your goblins have been stealing my homework again." She handed him the textbook.

"I did write this actually. One has to do something in their spare time."

She quirked an eyebrow at him.

"You couldn't have chosen a more original name than Gareth King? I mean, really it's kind of obvious."  
He smirked at her.

"I suppose you believe you could think of something better?"

She tilted her head to regard him for a moment.

"I think you could pull of the name Eric."

He scowled.

"Don't like it? Alright how about...John? James? Brennen? Greg? Adam? Allister? Gavin? Damien?" She sighed as he made a face at every name she suggested.

"Fine, be picky. Are you going to help me study or not?"

He smirked at her and picked up the textbook. The two sat in silence for a few moments save for Jareth's corrections as Sarah converted English into Welsh. Finally, Sarah put down her pen and looked at Jareth.

"David." she said.

"What?"  
"David, you most definately look like a David. If I had to pick a human name for you it would be David Jones."

Jareth sighed and shook his head.

"What?" Sarah asked looking at him with a stern glare. He gave her a small smile.

"When we have children, I shall have to see to it that you don't have a hand in their naming." He smirked as she gaped at him and pointed to her paper. "Also, you forgot to put the 'yn' after ' Dw i ddim'."

**CoffeeKris: I wrote this as I was studying for my welsh test tomorrow. Fricken frustrating work. My textbook is actually written by Gareth King, I kid you not. Lol, couldn't resist the Bowie references btw, points to whoever can find them all! Please leave a review! **


	10. Jareth's Insomnia

**CoffeeKris: Sleep deprivation. It can do strange things to a person. This fic is based off of my own personal experience with insomnia, grade ten high school I was sleep deprived for two days and it resulted in my babbling. These babbles have been crafted into this fic. Enjoy, review, and then take a nap.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to the Labyrinth or it's characters, I merely own the plot to this fic and my Original Character.**

At this moment the Goblin King has been plagued with insomnia for approximately twenty nine hours, six minutes and four seconds. There is no particular reason for his insomnia, nothing troubles his mind, he is not ill, no one has cast a spell on him (none would dare and those that might wouldn't be powerful enough for it anyway), the simple fact of the matter is the Goblin King cannot sleep. Since the Goblin King cannot sleep, he has elected to spend his night in the Library. Normally he would spend the time getting ahead on his paperwork, as it piles up amazingly quickly due to the ridiculous amount of copies needed. (Honestly, thirty seven copies of a requisition for a new fairy poison spray can is ridiculously excessive, the Goblin King would change the amount of copies needed, unfortunately the process takes so much paperwork in of itself that it would take two thousand years of non-stop work to make the changes necessary) Surprisingly, the Goblin King is already slightly ahead in his paperwork and does not desire to spend his insomniatic hours doing more, thus why he has chosen to look through the Library.

The castle library is home to exactly five hundred eight thousand one hundred and three books. The topic of these books range from Underworld literature, drama, history and culture books to Aboveworld literature, drama, history and culture books. There are several living books, which update themselves regularly with stories of importance to the kingdom. There are also a wide selection of children's books, from both worlds, that the Goblin King hopes to some day read to his children (though he'd never admit to it). Despite the number of books and range of topics, the Goblin King cannot find anything to read because he has read every book. He prowls around the library, thinking. He could read one of the living books as it's constantly filled with new information however in his sleep deprived state he feels no desire to do so. In truth the Goblin King did not come here to read, he merely likes the library and thought that if he was going to be deprived of sleep it might as well be in a room he likes.

Our poor sleep deprived Goblin King gracefully collapses (a skill her inherited from his mother) onto the large couch in front of the fire place on the far right of the library. It is at this moment that a very dangerous thing takes place. The Goblin King becomes utterly and inescapably bored. Now normally when the Goblin King he rectifies the situation nearly immediately whether through magic or social activity, however due to the insomnia that the Goblin King is suffering his sharp, quick and calculating mind is a chaotic mess of incoherent thoughts. It is really astonishing that he was able to find the library at all, let alone realize his reasoning for going there. The Goblin King allows himself to glance around the room, desperately hoping for something of interest. He lets his gaze sweep lazily across the room, sadly there is nothing of interest…but wait! What's that? There, on his desk! Our mighty Goblin King lifts himself from the sofa and approaches his desk with the grace of a predator stalking it's prey. He comes to the edge of his desk and looks down at this thing that has caught his interest. It is a piece of his favourite triple chocolate fudge caramel swirl cake, a delicacy he rarely indulges in, odd that it should be sitting there on his desk. Odder still that it is wearing a little white top hat, that it has arms and legs, with white gloves on it's hands and white tap shoes on it's feet, and that it is holding a little white walking cane.

"Ello your Majesty!" says the piece of cake.

"Hello," the King replies with a raised eyebrow, he is not accustomed to food speaking to him. If he had more sleep, we can be certain the Goblin King would've reacted quite differently to a piece of his favourite type of cake conversing with him, but as it is he simply asks the cake a question.

"Might I ask what you are doing on my desk?"

"Standing!" says the cake, if cake could smile like and idiot the King is sure this piece would be doing exactly that.

"I can see that," sighs the King exasperated by the baking. "What I mean is, why are you on my desk?"

"Oh!" exclaims the piece of cake happily. "Well then why didn't you say so in the first place your grace? I'm up here cause I thought t'would be a far sight better than the kitchen pantry! It's much nicer up here and there's far less chance that some bloke is going to come round looking for something to snack on and decide that I look like a right good snack." The cake pauses as the King watches it with interest. "You're, uh, you're not going to eat me, are you your Majesty?" It asks nervously. The King crosses his arms and looks at the cake with a stern glare.

"You are a piece of cake, you're meant to be eaten. Besides, you will go stale if you're not eaten." The King finishes his statement and is certain that if cake could look horrified, this piece of cake would be doing that right now.

"Better stale than eaten, your Majesty! I am one of your subjects am I not? Is it not your duty to protect me? Please don't let me be eaten!" The cake cries out.

"I protect my subjects and in return my subjects perform their duties to the kingdom. You are a piece of cake, it is your duty to be eaten at some point before you go stale. If you do not wish to be eaten you must perform a different duty." The Goblin King stops and thinks, what other possible duty could he come up with for a piece of cake. He looks at the piece of cake, with it's little white top hat, and it's little white walking stick and gloves, it's little white tap shoes….tap shoes! The King claps his hands together.

"If you do not wish to be eaten, piece of triple chocolate fudge caramel swirl cake, then I command you entertain me with a tap dance routine!"

"A tap dance routine?" the cake asks.

"Yes," says the King.

"But…uh…your Majesty, I don't know how to…uh…tap dance. These shoes are purely because I think they're spiffy!"

"Improvise," says the King. If a piece of cake could look indignant, this piece of cake would be doing just that.

"Improvise? I'd look like a bleeding fool your Majesty! I have my dignity!"

"Dance or be eaten!" says the King, crossing his arms and smirking at the cake.

"No!" exclaims the cake.

"You will dance!" says the King

"No!" says the cake

"Dance!" growls the King.

"No!" says the cake

"Then prepare to be eaten!" snaps the King, he turns around and storms out of the library, slamming the doors behind him. The King storms to the kitchens and noisily tears through the drawers until he finds a desert fork. With a cry of triumph the King makes his way towards the library victoriously until a voice stops him in his tracks.

"Jareth, what are you doing?" Sarah asks, rubbing her eyes. "I got up to get a glass of water and I heard a big bang."

Jareth looks at his wife and points a finger at the library doors with a scowl.

"My triple chocolate fudge caramel swirl cake is in the library and it won't dance! Stubborn thing, I generously gave it a chance to dance so it wouldn't have to be eaten and it defied me! So now I'm going to eat it! I can be generous but I can be cruel." With a feral grin to his wife, the Goblin King opened the doors to the library and stormed in victoriously. Leaving Sarah to shake her head at her husband's insomnia induced madness and slowly make her way back to their room.

"King of the Goblins, more like King of the Loonies. I'm so taking him to a sleep specialist."

**CoffeeKris: Please hit the review button, then type out a review, then hit the send review button. We know you had your choice of sleep deprived fan fiction and we thank you for choosing CoffeeKris, thank you for reading and have a nice day.**


	11. Adorable

Sarah glared at her husband angrily and slowly turned to look at their absolutely destroyed and nearly unrecognizable bedroom. She picked up the remnants of what had been a book she was reading. She sighed heavily, now she would never know if Lord Orpington would finally confess his love for Lady Willow resulting in a variety of wonderfully adult things. Holding a hand to her forehead she turned around slowly.

"Jareth, you have exactly thirty seconds to give me one good reason I shouldn't dismember you for this!"

He moved to respond but she cut him off before he could.

"When I agreed to let you watch Holly this afternoon alone, you promised me you would keep her safe and out of trouble. Then I come home to…this! It looks like a hurricane vomited in here!"

He raised an eyebrow.

"Hurricane vomit?"

She scowled.

"Don't try me. Explain. Now."

He shrugged cautiously, wrapping his arms around his wife's middle and attempting to soften her heart and save his own skin at the same time.

"I did keep her safe, Sarah. I do admit our room is a bit of a mess as a result of her play today…"

She shot him a look and he restrained grinning at her irritation.

"A bit of a mess? Jareth our room is messier than the junk heap!"

He nuzzled her neck, hoping to calm her.

"But Sarah, I couldn't ruin her play! She was just so adorable, sitting there tearing apart that silly romance novel of yours. It was heart warming."

Sarah sucked in a breath and looked over her shoulder at him.

"Your defence is that you were rendered immobile by Holly's adorable factor?"

He looked at her sincerely with a smile.

"She's just a baby, Sarah."

"Maybe so, but she still needs to learn responsibility and apparently you need a refresher course too."

She moved out of his arms and picked Holly up off the floor.

"You, are going to clean up this mess. Without magic. Holly and I are going out into the gardens and you may feel free to join us when you're done."

"Come now, Sarah. Reconsider."

He looked at her plaintively but she shook her head sternly.

"You dote on Holly far too much for the good of either one of you. If you're this bad with a puppy, I can only imagine how much you'll spoil our children."

She took a minute to scratch behind Holly's ears and left her husband to clean up his mess. He took a deep breath once she and the puppy had left, taking a look around the room.

"It is rather messy….bloody adorable puppy."

**J  
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Kris: Did you think it was their child they were talking about? That's what I was aiming for but I don't know if it gets across...BWA HA HA! He is rendered immobile by the adorable puppy! I don't know why this amuses me so much...I blame my parent's puppy who is named Holly and is evil and yet so cute! She decided my steal toe boots are good for chewing, but she's soooo cute I was like "No, Holly! Don't...awwwww so cute!"

**Jareth: (sniffs distainfully) I would never be immobilized by a puppy's adorableness.**

**Kris: (places a ridiculously adorable puppy infront of Jareth)**

**Jareth: That is not...(looks at puppy)...going to...(glances at puppy again)...work...(is immobilized)**

**Kris: I WIN!**


	12. Jareth's True Love

Beautiful.

Beautiful was really the only appropriate word.

Well…perhaps there were other words. Lovely, entrancing, enticing; to name a few. None of the words did justice though. Jareth gazed arduously at his love. Such beauty, with a scent that drove him to pure ecstasy at the slightest whiff of it; the Goblin King was head over heels in Love, with a capital L.

He reached out his gloved fingers tentatively before halting their progress. He wondered if he was hasty in believing his touch would be well received, but he needed to know. So he touched, and it was well received, but not nearly enough. Quickly he peeled off his gloves and resumed the fluid patterns his hands had begun to trace. Still not enough. So it continued, touches, caresses, whispers of undying affection. Jareth allowed his passion to reach heights he had never known until finding the one who could stir such passions from him. When he was satiated, spent and blissfully exhausted, a clear and happy laugh escaped his lips; which attracted the attention of two Goblin guards, Splotch and Fwoot.

The two regarded the scene bashfully until Splotch broke the silence.

"Fwoot? What Kingy doin?"

Fwoot shuddered and quickly ushered his friend away.

"Dunno, Splotch. Don't wanna know!"

The two goblins hurried off leaving their King alone with his love and unaware of their presence.

Jareth sighed as he soaked in the stolen moment with his one true love.

His beloved Bog.

* * *

**Kris: I know I really should be concentrating on 'I Defy You', but this idea has nagged at me and it just sprung forth tonight. I've threatened to write it a few times and I just couldn't resist anymore.**

**Jareth: DAMN IT WOMAN!**

**Kris: Eep! (hides behind a tree) I did warn you!**

**Jareth: Warn me? WHAT could I possibley have done to merit this?**

**Kris: (rolls eyes) You want a list?**

**Jareth: I WILL RIP YOU APART WITH MY BARE HANDS!**

**Kris: GAH! (runs off screaming) REVIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**


End file.
